A wedding ring is worn pretty much 24/7 by most married couples. And while a few people take theirs off for good reason, it’s usually a red flag. So sometimes guys wonder why does my wife not wear her wedding ring?
Here’s what I know from talking to a lot of my guy friends:
Taking off her wedding ring is telling the world that your wife is unmarried. It may be done simply to get more attention from men as an ego boost, or it could mean she’s actively considering divorce or looking for an affair.
But, of course, there are exceptions for every rule.
And I used to work with a guy who never wore his wedding ring. And while he loved going out and flirting, he never cheated on his wife.
So in this article, we’ll examine all the possible reasons a wife might not wear her wedding ring. More importantly, we’ll talk about what that means for you and what to do about it.
Let’s get going.
I’ve been on the brink of divorce and saved my marriage, and I KNOW you can too, even with a wife who won’t wear her wedding ring
I’ve been in your shoes. You want to move beyond the pain. And you desperately want your marriage to have trust, mutual acceptance, and respect; even if your wife remains a little distant.
Luckily, all hope is NOT lost, and there is something you can do, even if your spouse isn’t sure they want to save the marriage.
The website Regain offers licensed therapists who specialize in couples counseling and will work directly with you and your spouse online; anytime and from anywhere.
Serious about saving or improving your relationship?
CLICK HERE to answer a short quiz and see if Regain is right for you.
Justin Hartley’s Wife Chrishell Stause Spotted Without Wedding Ring Days After Moving Out https://t.co/SxM5HqthGF pic.twitter.com/Mr8dETNlZ0
— Yahoo Entertainment (@YahooEnt) December 10, 2019
What does it mean when your wife takes off her wedding ring?
When your wife removes her wedding ring it could mean she simply wants more attention from other men or is actively looking for an affair. But if she has gained weight, the ring may also be too small now and she may be embarrassed to mention it.
You may naturally be worried about your wife taking off her wedding ring suddenly.
And you’re not alone. There are so many implications that come along with removing a wedding ring. Cheating seems to be what most would fear most.
But surprisingly, there are very few studies on this topic.
And none that I could find made a connection between cheating and wedding rings. Common thinking on this is, “a cheater is going to cheat anyway; they’ll just take it off when they’re going to cheat.”
The truth of the matter is everyone knows what that ring should symbolize. It’s a signal of your commitment to onlookers. It’s a sign you’re not available. What good reason could there be to remove it?
Anecdotal evidence and confessional forums online mostly describe deceptive reasons like:
- Hiding marital status
- Flirting
- Getting men to buy drinks
- Unhappy in their marriage
- Getting more tips
- Looking for male attention
There are a few legitimate reasons to remove a wedding ring.
Your wife might simply hate jewelry
If she wore no rings before your marriage, maybe the idea of having to keep one on every day seems uncomfortable. It could make her work more difficult in certain professions.
But if this is the reason, then most likely she has never worn the ring and she shouldn’t be uncomfortable talking to you about it.
Weight gain could be another reason
It’s a sensitive topic, and maybe she’d rather not call attention to a now ill-fitting ring.
She might be ashamed or embarrassed and intentionally avoiding the subject. Not wearing her ring could be a natural extension of that.
Allergies
And you’d likely know this final reason, but she might be allergic to metals.
Sometimes metal allergies show up later in life, so it may be a new thing. But again, she shouldn’t be reluctant to talk about it, if this is the case.
There are, however, products you can coat jewelry with to prevent allergy breakouts. So if this is the case, check out Jewelry Shield on Amazon. It’s dirt cheap, has good reviews, and is an Amazon’s Choice product too.
Just click that link to see it on Amazon.
#DrivetimeDiscussion981: Is it disrespectful to not wear your wedding ring? What were your partner’s excuse for not wearing their wedding ring?
Join in on the conversation with @MazinoAppeal and Hauwa
call in on 01-4489981 or Whatsapp on 08094440981 #SmoothDrive981 pic.twitter.com/koCbmyyMEj— Smooth98.1FM (@Smooth981FM) October 21, 2019
Is it disrespectful to not wear your wedding ring?
Yes. For most married couples, a wedding ring is a significant symbol of their marriage and it would be disrespectful to not wear it regularly.
But, I think the decision to wear or not wear a wedding ring depends entirely on the couple. For some, objects can hold a lot of meaning, symbolism, and value. Think of an old guitar, a classic car, or a passport full of stamps.
We attach memories to these things. They become an extension of your past with that object.
So when a spouse suddenly stops wearing their wedding ring, it’s announcing that the meaning behind it isn’t important anymore.
But, others still don’t have this affinity for shiny things, the sentimental value of objects, or remnants of the past.
Maybe a wife like this wouldn’t be inclined to wearing her ring. She probably wouldn’t mind if you took yours off either.
The hard reality here is that not wearing a wedding absolutely will affect the way people see and treat you and your spouse. Another man might flirt with her a bit more casually. Someone might indicate interest when they might have moved on before.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with these things.
This is other people’s behavior that can’t be controlled. But they need to be discussed if you’re going to talk about not wearing wedding rings.
#Ewan #McGregor‘s wife seen without wedding ring as actor is pictured kissing #Fargo co-star https://t.co/Pjd1SMIyJg pic.twitter.com/6NO25amzxY
— Jenkers News (ENG) (@jenkers_en) October 23, 2017
Does taking off a wedding ring mean they are cheating?
No. Not wearing a wedding ring, or taking it off sometimes, in and of itself, is not a sign the spouse is cheating. It can be one sign amongst others. But by itself, the assumption of cheating is way too premature.
It’s a classic cliche in pop culture.
A man steps into a darkened night club. He chats up a young, attractive woman, has a few too many. He decides to slip off his wedding ring under the table and make a terrible mistake.
Let me ease your mind and say again that no studies currently link not wearing wedding rings and cheating.
But, anecdotal evidence all points to this as a typical behavior in a troubled relationship.
A spouse not wearing her ring definitely can be a sign that something is off. And left unchecked, it could lead to an affair or divorce.
But that doesn’t mean it’s not too late to turn things around.
Luckily, I get into how to rekindle a marriage in a recent article. And it’s not just a dry list of tips. It’s actually what I did to save my marriage after my wife left me in 2013.
Just click that link to read it on my site.
Bur rather than assuming that not wearing her ring is a sign of cheating, watch for other changes or suspicious behavior:
- Spending less time with you
- Lack of romance
- Few or no displays of affection
- Changes in sex life
- Lack of intimacy
- Wandering eyes
- Sudden changes in schedule
- Renewed interest in working out or appearance
- Use of phone late at night or early in the morning
- A new hobby or similar excuse to be out without you
It’s important to keep your cool and not automatically assume your spouse is cheating if her wedding ring is off.
Communicate first and ask why she didn’t. There could be a completely understandable reason.
But, if her answers are vague, overly defensive, or highly reactive, try to be aware of the list above.
My Wedding Ring Upgrade ❤ #dreamring #WeddingRings #diamonds #wedding #jewelry pic.twitter.com/dkfahpj3f2
— Mikala Hutchinson (@justkissthegirI) February 20, 2018
How do I get my wife to wear her wedding ring?
You can’t make your wife wear her wedding ring if she doesn’t want to. But you can explain why it’s important to you, what the ring means to you and what you believe it says about your marriage for her to not wear it.
Assuming that it’s not foul play, your wife might not place as much importance on wearing her ring as you do.
While you can never force this issue, communication with your spouse is the best solution here. Try to listen to her hangups about the ring and make her understand your perspective, too.
Clearly and honestly communicate how not wearing her ring makes you feel.
Ask questions to understand why she does this. And be sure to listen to the answers and validate her thoughts. Let her know how she feels matters to you, too.
Don’t accuse or imply that she would do any of these things. Explain that it’s human nature for these rogue thoughts to come up, independent of the person wearing the ring.
If, for whatever reason, she won’t always wear her ring, try to reach a compromise.
Are there some situations where you’d prefer she wore it? Maybe there are certain triggers (parties, family events, work functions) that make you uncomfortable. Share these and see if you can find a solution.
In the case of an outright refusal or saying yes and going back on her word, something more serious might be the underlying issue.
If you’re worried, please read my recent article. In it, I detail other signs your wife might be thinking of leaving for good.
Just click that link to read it on my site.
No jewelry is more important than your wedding ring. Trust the professionals at Steven Rose https://t.co/N4fFnZHqGN pic.twitter.com/bdsT1dWbOP
— Steven Rose Jewelers (@JewelersRose) September 20, 2017
Am I being insecure in my relationship?
Whether you are being insecure in your relationship depends on your history and tendencies. Was insecurity, possessiveness, or jealousy a pattern in previous relationships? Do you suffer from low self-esteem or a lot of anxiety?
Ultimately, you know your spouse better than anyone. And more importantly, you know yourself better than anyone.
All of these might mean you’re prone to overreacting here. If honest and open communication with your spouse is not easing your concerns, it might be time for extra help. Continuously confronting a spouse about an issue that doesn’t exist absolutely can cause friction in a relationship.
So proceed with caution if you know this is one of your habits.
Before a potentially damaging confrontation, get an outside opinion. Talk to a close friend or, ideally, a therapist. While I’m pretty confident these days, I know I was a clingy guy in the early stages of my marriage. Luckily, I’m not now, and I detailed my journey in a recent article about How to be Less Clingy in a Relationship.
Just click that link to read it on my site.
With that being said, if your gut is telling you something is wrong, and all evidence genuinely points to something awful, trust those instincts.
Keep in mind that not all cases of infidelity end in a separation.
I’m living proof of that! Even if it is the worst-case imaginable, check out my recent article to see how to save your marriage after one of you has an affair.
Just click that link to read it on my site.
Takeaway
It’s not a good feeling to realize your wife isn’t wearing her wedding ring. Good reasons for not wearing them seem few and far between. So, make sure to take this realization as a great chance to reconnect with your wife.
All good marriages take work. Check out my recent article to learn how to succeed despite how hard it may be. I cover why being hard doesn’t have to mean bad.
Just click that link to read it on my site.
Don’t jump to the worst conclusion, keep your cool, communicate honestly and fully. Do all of these, and she’ll surely remember why she put her ring on in the first place.
I’ve been on the brink of divorce and saved my marriage, and I KNOW you can too, even with a wife who won’t wear her wedding ring
I’ve been in your shoes. You want to move beyond the pain. And you desperately want your marriage to have trust, mutual acceptance, and respect; even if your wife remains a little distant.
Luckily, all hope is NOT lost, and there is something you can do, even if your spouse isn’t sure they want to save the marriage.
The website Regain offers licensed therapists who specialize in couples counseling and will work directly with you and your spouse online; anytime and from anywhere.
Serious about saving or improving your relationship?
CLICK HERE to answer a short quiz and see if Regain is right for you.